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My thoughts fluctuate on this guy. He’s probably too low on the totem pole to rate a Douchebag Hall of Fame award. Isn’t it best to simply ignore him? But this combination science-fiction author/religious zealot has the capacity to deeply and permanently hurt others who don’t share his beliefs, so fuck him. Creep.
Like most gay men in their 40′s, I’ve developed a pretty good sense when somebody just isn’t gonna work out sexually. Unlike in my youth, when I ignored glaring, flashing warning signs, like the guy who said, “Listen, if we’re gonna do this, we should probably get going. I’ve got this ankle bracelet on and I’m not supposed to be this far from my house.
Or the guy who said, “I suppose I should tell you that I’m just getting over the clap. I mean, it’s cool, I had the shot and all, so in case there’s still some discharge, you don’t have to worry.”
OR the guy who said, “I don’t live far, but if you come over, don’t park in the driveway. My ex is kinda crazy and the last time he saw a trick’s car in my driveway, he sorta set it on fire.”
Yeah, still did them. All three. Luckily, nothing ended up burning, including my dick. I feel I must share with you some of the worst things guys have said to me online, where it’s always hard to make the right call, even when you think you’ve been around. Here’s a top ten list. Â These are all verbatim emails.
1. Hey dud! Put that in the sexy place. 2. I am sloppy wide open bottom. You will never get to the bottom of my cunt. 3. Tonight, I’m feeling VERY ranchy. How ’bout u? 4. I hope you’re into barebaking, cuz I’d love for you to bread me. 5. Can you get into rapping me? I love rap scenes. I will leave the door open. Bring something sharp. 6. Can’t you host? I can’t, cuz I’m small and somewhat spaced. 7. I am *completely* uninhabited. 8. Are you interested in a gang-bag? I would love for you and your hot friends to gang-bag me because I am a sloppy wide open bottom.
(Number 8 might have been the same guy from #2.) 9. Do you love man-smells like I do? I hope so because I haven’t had a shower in 5 days.
And the worst thing ever said to me online, from just yesterday: 10. You are the hottest guy I’ve seen on this site EVER. I would do anything you want me to. P.S. I LOVE OLD MEN!
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