FK cumshot - one of my biggest HERE

Prediction: Released today, the biggest (one-day financial) event in entertainment history

“There’s no doubt it’s going to set a new sales record for entertainment product — perhaps $400 mil and 6 mil copies because it plays on both Microsoft’s Xbox 360 as well as Sony’s Playstation 3.” —Nikki Finke

Grand Theft Auto IV Official Trailer HERE

Meanwhile…

Director Joe Gage and edgy producer/director of photography Brian Mills await the imminent Chainsaw release.
Note how tiny the new HD monitors are.

Senate Bill Would Snip Faux Testicles On Vehicle Bumpers HERE

Get ’em while they last

big truck - Our Ivory Big Boy Nuts HERE

“You know who is bitter in America? I am. Because shit-kickers voted twice for a retarded guy they wanted to have a beer with, and everybody else had to suffer the consequences!” —Bill Maher

More on Looks (in this case, combined with, uh, Maturity)

Works/Not So Much

Q: Let’s forget about politics for a minute. What did you think of Madonna’s new face at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductions?

A: Sigh. You do put a gal on the spot. Madonna fans of the world (among whom I number myself, despite my sniping) should view her as a very grand architectural monument in slow stages of repair and restoration. As with the bitterly controversial cleaning of the Sistine Chapel ceiling, we will all have our opinions about whether the conservators have gone too far or not far enough. But Madonna’s still out there kicking, so she needs as much lamination as she can get. We don’t want her retiring like a creaky recluse to her flat, as her role model Marlene Dietrich had to do at the end in Paris. So go for it, Madge, but we won’t be surprised if one of these days you smash into a thousand tinkling shards right onstage. —Camille Paglia

PAGLIA HERE

Looks Aren’t Everything (Are They?)

In case you haven’t heard it, here’s where American Idol contestant Jason Castro (also relentlessly attacked for his appearance) got his inspiration:
Israel Kamakawiwo’Ole HERE

Church Sign Generator HERE

“My Wife Nailing My Balls To Wood And Then Giving Me Head On My Video Phone”

Stealth dreamboat Colin Firth —Jon Stewart’s mancrush since 2002

Colin Firth Penis Tale HERE