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The Canadian crooner and grumpy little baby was snapped by a paparazzo while going for a naked swim with model (and rumored love interest) Jayde Pierce on the island of Bora Bora on Tuesday. Here is a “leaked” one that shows the Full Monty.
From these photos, several things are apparent:
1. Bieber is trying out a new hairstyle for which Jim Jarmusch seems to be the primary inspiration.
2. He goes tanning quite a bit.
3. He has no body hair.
4. His penis is not small.
5. Young Ms. Pierce is about to start receiving death threats from hysterical teens on Twitter.
Does the Biebs wax his entire bod or is he simply incapable of growing hair? What song(s) did he play for his lady on the guitar? When is someone going to come up with a better pun about it than “what do you peen”? Have at it, late night writers.